Writing a Personal Statement is a massive undertaking. In a relatively short document, you’re trying to show the admissions committee who you are and what you value, while simultaneously building a case for why you will succeed in medical school and as a physician. It’s a lot. But we can help.
Below are some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.
Trying to include everything: You cannot fit every medical experience you've ever had into this essay—and hey, that's why you have Work and Activities. Stick to one or two key experiences that prompted growth and reinforced your interest in medicine. The Personal Statement is about showing depth.
Telling instead of showing: The admissions committee is looking for more than a list of your strengths and traits. Not only is that boring, it is unreliable. A good rule of writing is: “Show, don't tell." Listing off your qualities is meaningless if you're not backing them up with real-life examples. Instead of telling the reader, “I am a good leader because I am diligent and organized,” provide a leadership anecdote that will show you empowering your team.
Similarly, don’t tell the school what you will do in the future without showing them why you are capable of achieving such things. We've said it before: Sharing goals works when what comes before it exemplifies your strengths and abilities. More than what you want to do, what you have done tells us who you are.
Staying linear: You don’t need the essay to be linear. Imagine your intro paragraph as the opening sequence of a movie—the most thrilling ones start mid-scene. You want to see an action star in action, not waking up to a buzzing alarm clock. Don't save the excitement for many scenes later. Show yourself there, then explain how you got there.
Being uptight: A personal essay is more like journalism than an academic paper. You're telling a story, and this one is about you. You want to sound intelligent and respectful but being a bit colloquial makes you appear confident and relaxed. As if to say, "This is who I am. This is who I plan to become." Boom.
Also, a profound statement is often a simple one. We've heard more than one med school app reader complain about needing to consult a dictionary because an applicant had been over-consulting a thesaurus. Another reason to write less formally: You're going to interview at these schools. (Hopefully!) If you don't speak at all how you write, they're going to be confused about who you really are.
Getting too poetic: Being a little poetic can show style, but if your point isn't clear, a beautiful turn of phrase is meaningless. One of our mottos is: "Clarity above all things." Leave no room for misinterpretation. The reader needs to see the story how you do. Crisp and untangled writing is also best given the character count limitation and how much you need to share. There is room for imagery but there isn't a lot of room for showiness.
Overusing passive voice: Keep most of your sentences active. Passive voice can minimize your contributions and slow down your essay's momentum. Active sentences move the statement forward.
There is flexibility, of course. Some passive sentences aren't slow-going or unnatural. Take the passive "My research has been accepted for an oral presentation at the National Impressive Conference." vs. the active "The National Impressive Conference has accepted my research for an oral presentation." Honestly, both sentences are fine. Neither goes on too long nor is confusing. Both read as a natural way of speaking—the passive one might be a little more natural.
There are also times when you'll use passive voice for effect, accuracy, clarity, or flow. Just be mindful of how often you're doing it.
Spouting off clichés: Nothing says, "I don't think outside of the box" quite like the phrase "I think outside of the box." We also read a lot of first drafts that include "puzzle pieces"—skip 'em, they're going to be in a thousand other essays.
Using long quotes: A short conversation you had in an intense circumstance can be illustrative in a Personal Statement. It helps a reader picture the event. But making the point of your essay completely revolve around a long quote of someone else's thoughts about medicine, leadership, integrity, or whatever, makes it their essay, not yours. No literary celebrity, professor, doctor you worked with, or dad is supposed to be the star of this show.
Dwelling on childhood stories: Saying you played doctor as a kid should not feature prominently in your Personal Statement. In fact, we'd skip it: It's not a unique sentiment. Schools don't care how long you've wanted to be a doctor—they care if you have the potential and drive to be one.
This doesn't mean that a flashback scene is never relevant. If your mom had cancer when you were eight years old, you grew up fast, and you learned things about the healthcare system and doctor-patient interactions that influenced your medical school goals. That is noteworthy. But you need this essay to focus on your recent impactful experiences. Ones that reinforced your interest in studying medicine and gave you the skills applicable to excelling in a program.
Having too many readers: Having too many readers review your Personal Statement is a common mistake. If you're an Apply Point client, consider asking two people besides your two Apply Point advisors (who work as a team) to read your essays. If you're not working with a consultant, you could ask up to four people to read your work but make that the maximum just so you won't be overwhelmed by input.
This is certainly not us saying that you shouldn't have any readers at all. You want eyes or ears on this, especially if they're attached to someone you respect who knows you well. In fact, the top question you should ask them is: "Does this sound like me?" Friends, family members, or a mentor can confirm if your essay gets your personality and best qualities across. That said, send them the edited, polished draft rather than your raw first draft. This way their suggestions and questions won't psych you out because you already have a good idea of what you want to present in your statement.
One more note on having too many readers: Never post your essay in an online forum, such as Reddit. Sharing thoughts and advice on the overall application process online with other prospective students is great, but if you post your essay, you'll have too many strangers giving input and be vulnerable to plagiarizers.