We’re excited to introduce “Emotional Intelligence (EI) Fridays” on the blog, where we will hone in on how to develop and implement these softer skills.
Our first topic of focus will be listening, a critical skill for doctors, lawyers, and (future) CEOs alike. We hope you enjoy this three-part series.
Click here to read Part 1 of this series.
Click here to read Part 2 of this series.
Learning to listen, as with any skill, takes practice and time. Julian Treasure in his Ted Talk on Conscious Listening, spoke compellingly on the power of sound to connect us to our world, and to each other. “I believe that every human being needs to listen consciously in order to live fully—connected in space and time to the physical world around us, connected in understanding to each other, not to mention spiritually connected, because every spiritual path I know of has listening and contemplation at its heart,” he said.
Treasure recommended daily listening exercises, which may help to attune you once again to listening, to hearing the noise in your environment (much of which, you’re likely tuning out) and to promoting your ability to be mindful and connected in a loud and busy world.
Sit in three minutes of silence to “reset your ears and to recalibrate.” This will allow you to pay more attention to sounds that you do hear afterwards. Treasure notes that if silence is impossible (for you NYC residents!), quiet is good too.
In a noisy environment with competing sounds, try to differentiate the sounds that you are hearing. Treasure uses the example of a coffee bar. Listen for the “channels” of noise: people having conversations, the grinding of the coffee, the door opening and closing, typing sounds, ringing of cellphones, shoes squeaking on the floor, etc.
Listen for and try to take pleasure in everyday sounds that you may routinely tune out. The dryer, birds chirping, kids playing in the park. Instead of filtering out sounds as you go through your day, seek to savor a few.
Each day you use “filters” in your listening to pare down the multitude of sounds in the world to those which you give your attention to. For example, you may opt for passive listening at the beach to take in the many pleasant sounds: the ocean, birds, people laughing, etc. Alternatively, when your partner joins you, you may focus on their voice over the waves crashing. Similarly, when listening to others, we can choose different filters. A friend may garner empathetic listening with your focus on emotion and connection, while a coworker may receive a more critical filter where you seek to assess and validate their ideas. Treasure, who calls this exercise the most important, challenges you to become aware of the filters you use and when, and to proactively adjust them. Filters, he says, “actually create our reality in a way, because they tell us what we're paying attention to right now.”