NYC MBA Admissions Consulting

What We’re Getting Wrong About Making a Good First Impression

We’ll start with the good news and then get to the even-better news. 

The good news: You make a better first impression than you think you do. You know those moments after you meet someone, when you cringe over your potential awkwardness? Research shows that you don’t need to do that. The person you just met liked you and enjoyed your conversation much more than you think. 

In 2018, Erica Boothby, in partnership with other researchers, Gus Cooney, Gillian Sandstrom, and Margaret Clark, set out to understand how well people do at gauging their own likeability. The research study looked at pairs of people who were meeting for the first time in three different settings: a research lab, as attendees of a personal development workshop, and as first year dorm roommates. After the meetings, both participants were surveyed on how much they enjoyed the interaction and liked the other person and how much they believed the other person liked them. The finding, in short: People are more likeable than they think.

Routinely, participants underestimated how positively their counterparts rated the interaction. The researchers called the difference between a person’s estimation of how much another liked them and the reality, the “liking gap.” Notably the liking gap remained over several months, as demonstrated by the roommates included in the study, and was the most pronounced amongst those who considered themselves shy, although it occurred across personality types. 

It might not surprise you that the liking gap stems from our natural tendency to fixate on our own perceived errors. The study’s authors wrote, “the liking gap exists not because people fail to signal that they like each other—in fact, the signals are right there for people to see—but, rather, people are too focused on their own self-critical thoughts to notice.” 

According to the research, when we conclude an interaction, we immediately start evaluating ourselves. The study found that “people tend to compare themselves unfavorably with their ideal version of themselves…ruminate about the worst possible outcomes…and focus on the things they need to fix for next time.” 

If we were to set this scenario at the workplace, you might think you came off as less informed about a project than you are, or that you seemed smug about your accomplishments, or worry that you blathered on about an unimportant detail. 

It’s hard for us to see that others don’t have this same perspective on our faults, Boothby et al wrote. What we must remember is that not only are the people we meet not comparing us to an ideal, but they’re likely also cataloging their own perceived shortcomings. 

Curious about the liking gap in the workplace and team interactions specifically, researchers performed a follow-up study. It confirmed that not only does the liking gap exist within organizations and teams, but it was, “strongly related to a range of important interpersonal, team and job-level outcomes.” These included a person’s willingness to ask for help and their comfort in communicating openly and honestly, which impact a person’s job satisfaction and effectiveness in their role. The study’s authors wrote, “The liking gap predicts important workplace outcomes... If only people knew, then, how positively their teammates actually felt about them, they might communicate better, feel more included on their teams, and be happier overall with their jobs.”

Easing the Effects of the Liking Gap 

Which brings us to the “even-better” news promised earlier: Your awareness of the liking gap is a powerful tool. 

By giving yourself a pass on perfection and opting not to fixate on your flaws or slips, you can rest-assured that your first impression (or early impression) was, in all likelihood, good enough. In addition to this info making you feel more confident, you can use it to develop relationships more effectively. 

In an interview with CNBC, Boothby suggested easing the effects of the liking gap in the workplace by taking action. If you appreciated your co-worker’s conversation over a coffee, or you enjoyed meeting someone at a networking event, don’t wait for them—reach out!  They too are likely underestimating how much you enjoyed the meeting and are hesitating on a next step because they feel vulnerable. 

Your actions don’t have to correspond to a special occasion, either. If you enjoy working with someone or a group of people, tell them directly. Providing them with clear indicators that you appreciate their company and work, and you wish to continue developing the relationship, will make them feel seen.

Furthermore, during future interactions, try being more attuned to your partners, rather than fixated on your own perceived flaws. First, consider the signals that they are sending: Are they nodding? Smiling? Are they appearing open or physically closed off? What indirect signs are they providing about how they’re perceiving you or the conversation? Second, make sure you approach the conversation with genuine curiosity and interest.  

Boothby, as a guest on The Hidden Brain podcast, described the power of asking follow-up questions in conversation. She said, “The research on social anxiety shows that if you go into a conversation with the goal of learning as much about your partner as possible, that shifts your attention from being focused on your own thoughts and what you might be doing wrong, toward being focused on your conversation partner.” 

Understanding the liking gap—and actively closing it for others—makes for more meaningful connections.

Your MBA Interview: Practical Tips

Amidst your pre-interview preparation, don’t overlook day-of planning. Review our tips below to ensure that you feel your most confident when the day arrives.

What to bring:

Theoretically, you need to bring nothing. The interviewers have everything they need from you already. But there are a couple of things that we suggest you bring along to an in-person interview (which, if possible, we recommend you choose over the virtual interview).

  1. An extra copy of your resume. It never hurts to have an extra copy in the case your interviewer asks for one.  

  2. A copy of your application. This application isn't for you to hand over to your interviewer. This copy is for you. Review it while you're waiting so that you can refresh your nervous brain and stick to the same takeaways. You should feel prepared to talk about any experience included within the application and/or resume. If you feel you've reviewed this application all you can review it, take a break, and read the newspaper or a book while you wait. 

  3. A notebook. You can and should ask questions during your interview too. Feel free to bring yours prewritten and jot down shorthand versions of your interviewers' answers. Just be sure to look up and nod periodically as you write. 

  4. The right clothing and accessories. You already know to wear something professional, but this tip has less to do with being interview-appropriate than with being activity- and weather-appropriate. If you're touring the campus before or after your interview, wear or bring comfortable shoes. If it's going to rain, bring an umbrella. If you're from Florida and you don't have a warm coat, borrow or buy one before your interview in Boston. When you're engrossed in interview prep, these are the kinds of things you'll forget. 

  5. Water and a pain reliever. Being physically uncomfortable during your interview is a nightmare. Make sure to bring a bottle of water that you can sip prior to your interview, and if you're prone to stress headaches, have some pain medication on your person. 

  6. Fun plans. You might live in this city or town someday. If you have the time, explore it. This will give you something to look forward to after your interview, and it might come up in interview small talk. "Will you be doing anything while you're in town?” Yes! I'm checking out the botanical garden this afternoon. This simultaneously shows your interest in the area and makes you seem like you have a life and interests outside of studying.

Do Your MBA Application Essays Feel Flat? Here are Some Tips to Inject Personality Into Them.

We see it all the time. You have compiled excellent professional and extracurricular experiences and great personal anecdotes. But, for some reason, when you write your essays they are still coming across as …flat.  We’ve gathered up our top five writing tips below to help you incorporate personality and bring your essays to life. We’ll share one each day this week.

Update your language. In your academic and/or professional life you likely use formal language in your written communications. However, we would caution you against being overly formal in your application writing. A personal essay is more like journalism than an academic paper. You're telling a story, and this one is about you. You want to sound intelligent and respectful but being a bit colloquial makes you appear confident and relaxed. As if to say, "This is who I am. This is who I plan to become." 

A great test is to read your writing aloud and see how easily it flows. Does your language feel natural or stilted? Does it sound like you? Make sure your writing style and language choices promote a connection between you and your reader.

Structure your writing to grab the reader’s attention. One of the goals of your writing is to inform, but it is equally important to engage your reader and get them personally invested in your journey. You might even take a cue from an action movie. When the lights go down and the curtain goes up, you see the star in a sports car going full throttle. What you don’t know, immediately, is who or where they are. Narrative writing does not have to be linear. After leading with an attention-grabbing scene, the writer can go back and provide additional context and information on what’s missing. 

Embrace emotion. Take a lesson from advertising. What do the best commercials have in common? They make you feel something—humor, pride, sorrow. As you write your essay responses, ensure that you use emotion to connect with your reader. And, this doesn’t necessarily mean recounting only sad or difficult times. Rather, it means bringing your reader along on the full spectrum of your experience as you share a story from your life. We rarely feel just one emotion at a time, embrace the complexity.

Make it universal. Let the reader share in your learning by making it about more than yourself and your own experience. Look for the transcendence and let the admissions committee in on it. You didn’t just overcome a fear of public speaking, you learned to challenge yourself and break past self-constructed barriers. You didn’t just overcome cultural differences while working in a diverse group, you learned about seeking out commonalities with others. Whatever it is you learned, dig deep for that universal finding that will help to ensure your reader finishes your essay feeling they are better off for the experience. 

Don’t forget the basics. One of our mottos is: "Clarity above all things." When you write an essay for your application, leave no room for misinterpretation. The reader needs to see the story how you do. Crisp and untangled writing is also best given character count limitations and how much you need to share.

Qualities that MBA Admissions Committees Look for in Applicants: Integrity and a Sense of Community

This week, we’ll examine the key tenets of the business school application: leadership, teamwork, innovation, and integrity. 

Integrity and a sense of community. Many leading business schools have missions that include educating principled leaders who will make a positive difference in the world. Business schools are, now more than ever, highly-attuned to applicants’ integrity and sense of civic responsibility. 

Consider the following: In what meaningful experiences did you elevate a community that you were a part of? What effect did you have on others? What effect did they have on you? What have you learned about finding common ground with those who are different from you?  What did you think about these things at the time? How did you feel? 

Qualities that MBA Admissions Committees Look for in Applicants: Innovation

This week, we’ll examine the key tenets of the business school application: leadership, teamwork, innovation, and integrity. 

Innovation. The pace of change in business continues to speed up and business schools are looking for students who demonstrate skills in both critical and creative thinking and problem solving. 

Consider the following: In what meaningful experiences did you utilize critical thinking and problem-solving skills? How did you determine the best course of action? Did you approach something one way at first and then correct yourself? What did you think about these things at the time? What did you learn? How did you feel?

Qualities that MBA Admissions Committees Look for in Applicants: Teamwork

This week, we’ll examine the key tenets of the business school application: leadership, teamwork, innovation, and integrity. 

Teamwork. Conducting business is a team endeavor. Accordingly, business school is a highly collaborative place where you will spend a lot of your team working together with your classmates. Highlight instances where you have shown humility and elevated the voices of others. 

Consider the following: During what meaningful experiences did you work with a team or collaborate with others successfully? Were you working with people unlike yourself? Was there a struggle for balance in the beginning? Any confusion? What did you appreciate about your team members? How did they influence and impact you and your actions? Did one or two team members step up in a way you admired? What did you think about these things at the time? How did you feel? Have you had experiences with teams that were unsuccessful? What did you learn (remember: failures can provide great insight too!)?

Qualities that MBA Admissions Committees Look for in Applicants: Leadership

At Apply Point, we often remind our applicants that MBA programs are looking for individuals, not just resumes. Admissions committees want to understand the full spectrum of experiences that have led you to this point of your life and career, and have informed your future goals. But while you brainstorm, in addition to poignant personal experiences, be sure to keep in mind the key tenets of the business school application: leadership, teamwork, innovation, and integrity. This week, we’ll examine each of these core qualities.

Leadership. Throughout your application, you will want to showcase your ability to influence a team in order to accomplish a common goal. Keep in mind that there are many ways to demonstrate effective leadership. You don’t need to be the captain of a sports team or a club president to be an inspirational and persuasive leader. 

Consider the following: In what meaningful experiences did you show your leadership abilities? Did leadership come naturally to you, or did you work to get to this place? (Both things are great!) How did you support your team? Did you encourage collaboration or independence? Did you feel supported by your team? Did you experience any pushback, and how did you handle that if you did? What did you think about these things at the time? How did you feel? What did you learn that you will incorporate into your leadership style in the future?

Writing Tip: See Feelings as Information

This week on the blog we’re providing you with a to-do list for your personal statement and school-specific essays. Keep these tips in mind throughout your writing process.

See feelings as information. If you can state or allude to how an experience made you feel, you will paint a dynamic picture for the admissions team. You can include "negative" emotions like fear but also positive ones like joy, camaraderie, and pride.

We don't believe in self-aggrandizing but don't self-deprecate either. We think the "pride"-vibe you're aiming for is best explained by organizational psychologist and author Adam Grant: "Downplaying your achievements is not the antidote to appearing arrogant. Humility is acknowledging your weaknesses, not denying your strengths. Generosity is elevating others, not diminishing yourself. Owning your success doesn't make you a narcissist—it makes you a role model.”

(Bonus!) Understand that you will rewrite most things. Embrace it. Know now that having to write several drafts is not a failure. It is a way to success.

Writing Tip: Don't Shy Away From Fear

This week on the blog we’re providing you with a to-do list for your personal statement and school-specific essays. Keep these tips in mind throughout your writing process.

Show fear when it's applicable. Similarly, the "show no fear" image people often want to flaunt in their applications doesn't seem authentic because it isn't. You have many terrific qualities; being 100% fearless isn't one of them. You've experienced fear, whether it was about not finishing your Honors thesis on time or confronting a colleague about a sexist comment. Good. Fear helps you assess a situation, prepare yourself to address it properly, and take (sometimes very cautious) action. Addressing a fear can be quite humbling—it's another way to show vulnerability in your application. And fear can be a pathway to courage.

Writing Tip: Show Self-Awareness

This week on the blog we’re providing you with a to-do list for your personal statement and school-specific essays. Keep these tips in mind throughout your writing process.

Show that you're self-aware. Many of our clients shy away from sharing examples of their weaknesses or times they've made mistakes in their Personal Statement. But replaying a fumble is an opportunity to then share actions you took to remedy a situation and lessons you learned. That said, not every issue you present must be one that you've fully resolved. For example, say you're great at presenting ideas on paper but you have a hard time speaking up in professional settings. Likely, one beautiful, clarifying moment didn't change that forever. That's something you work on over a long period. You may share an anecdote where you spoke well in front of an intimidating group and how you prepared to do it. Then say how you will continue improving your verbal communication skills and how you plan to exercise that muscle regularly in the future. That's a stronger, more realistic take than "I will never have this problem again!”

Writing Tip: Remember what Resonates

This week on the blog we’re providing you with a to-do list for your personal statement and school-specific essays. Keep these tips in mind throughout your writing process.

Remember what resonates most with reviewers: Passion. Depth of Impact. Potential. We probably don't need to explain passion to you. Depth of impact means expressing how much an experience and your actions during it changed things within you and/or outside of you. Potential is you exemplifying one or more qualities that medical, law, or business schools admire: Leadership, collaboration, critical thinking, etc. You know these from your brainstorm “buckets."

Writing Tip: Emphasize Past Experiences

This week on the blog we’re providing you with a to-do list for your personal statement and school-specific essays. Keep these tips in mind throughout your writing process.

Emphasize past experiences. Focus on what you've done more than on what you want to do. So many of our clients think their essays should exclusively be about their fantasy future. But this isn't a magic carpet ride. Your rug must be on the ground. What you have accomplished and learned is the only proof that you are committed to the study and practice of medicine, law, or business. (Take note of that phrase because you should be reinforcing this commitment throughout your application.) 

MBA Application Tips—Letters of Recommendation (Part 3)

If done right, a letter of recommendation can reinforce and expand upon key themes presented in other application components like your resume, essays, and short answers. This week on the blog we’re reviewing some actions to take to make sure that happens.

Frequently Asked Questions

I have a great relationship with my college advisor. Would it be appropriate to use her as a recommender?

For entry into business school, it is best to ask supervisors from your full-time post-baccalaureate professional experiences.

What if I don’t feel comfortable telling my direct supervisor I am submitting applications to business school?

While it is preferred to have a recommendation from a current direct supervisor, it may not always be an option and schools understand. Be sure to address the situation in the optional essay; and ask a former boss and/or a professional colleague who is superior to you on an org chart to write a letter. Emphasize the positives of having this person write your recommendation too. Tell them your chosen recommender can speak specifically to your actions on a valuable project. Or that you worked under your ex-boss for a lot longer than your current one and felt they could give a thorough take on your strengths.

What if my recommender asks me, the applicant, to write the letter? 

Your supervisor might say, "I'm too busy; you write it, and I'll sign it." If a potential recommender puts you in a tough spot and only agrees to submit a letter that you’ve written, it is best to move on. It is often obvious to schools when an applicant has crafted the copy because of similarities in voice to other application components. 

MBA Application Tips—Letters of Recommendation (Part 2)

If done right, a letter of recommendation can reinforce and expand upon key themes presented in other application components like your resume, essays, and short answers. This week on the blog we’re reviewing some actions to take to make sure that happens.

Set Your Recommenders Up for Success

Give your recommenders enough time to meet your request. We suggest at least eight weeks prior to submission. It is also helpful to give each one a short portfolio of information, which should include: 

  • School names, recommendation questions, and submission date(s)

  • Method for recommendation submission (e.g., online via link)

  • Background information (academic, professional) and your future career goals

  • Illustrative anecdotes from your work with this recommender, with particular emphasis on the following topics: varied and growing work responsibilities, performance at a high level (as judged by your project managers and peers) in a team environment, personal characteristics you want to highlight (e.g., determination, intelligence, creativity and/or leadership), recognition/awards, accomplishments, and your ability to grow from constructive criticism

  • (Optional) Illustrative anecdotes from your extracurricular/personal life that will allow your recommender to show your abilities in community-building, and present you as a well-rounded, caring, approachable, and motivated person who would contribute to the MBA community

The weakest type of letter is one that is too general—that lists your qualities but doesn't show them. The illustrative stories you provide (and you can do this in a bulleted list) should be unique for each recommender and should highlight the qualities you want the recommender to expand upon. These inputs will allow you to subtly influence the recommenders’ output and ensure the recommendation letters include concrete and varied examples that reinforce your existing application content. 

MBA Application Tips—Letters of Recommendation (Part 1)

Let's be real: Recommendation letters are not going to be what makes or breaks your MBA applications. Most don’t differentiate prospective students from one another in the minds of admissions committees. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are filled with glowing reviews of an applicant’s leadership and/or innovation abilities and potential. No applicant asks a supervisor to write them a letter if there is any question the content of the letter could cast doubt on their candidacy.

But, if done right, a letter of recommendation can reinforce and expand upon key themes presented in other application components like your resume, essays, and short answers. Here are some actions to take to make sure that happens.

Select the Best Recommenders

Most schools require two letters of recommendation from supervisors who have overseen your work in full-time post-baccalaureate employment. Of course, you will want to choose those you know will sing your praises, but also who can back up their claims on your abilities in the areas such as innovation, leadership, and teamwork with specific examples. The writers of your recommendation letters should know you well. Don’t ask the CEO you’ve seen in the elevator a few times because you think his title will impress admissions committees. Save requests to very senior colleagues with significant influence at a specific school (say, they're donors or members of the board) for letters of support, which they can send separate from your application to the Dean of the business school. 

Take a Strategic Viewpoint

If one of your essays is anchored in a story that shows the reader your critical thinking and problem-solving aptitude on a significant project, one of your recommenders could provide additional insight on this project in their letter. And, if this first letter of recommendation further emphasizes your innovation potential, the second should focus on other qualities, such as your ability to thrive in a collaborative environment. Furthermore, if you see gaps in your application, you may want to speak with one of your recommenders who could address them in his or her letter and share how you’ve grown from specific challenges.  

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Personal Statement (Part 5)

In this blog series, we’ll be highlighting some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.

Having too many readers: Having too many readers review your Personal Statement is a common mistake. If you're an Apply Point client, consider asking two people besides your two Apply Point advisors (who work as a team) to read your essays. If you're not working with a consultant, you could ask up to four people to read your work but make that the maximum just so you won't be overwhelmed by input.

This is certainly not us saying that you shouldn't have any readers at all. You want eyes or ears on this, especially if they're attached to someone you respect who knows you well. In fact, the top question you should ask them is: "Does this sound like me?" Friends, family members, or a mentor can confirm if your essay gets your personality and best qualities across. That said, send them the edited, polished draft rather than your raw first draft. This way their suggestions and questions won't psych you out because you already have a good idea of what you want to present in your statement.

One more note on having too many readers: Never post your essay in an online forum, such as Reddit. Sharing thoughts and advice on the overall application process online with other prospective students is great, but if you post your essay, you'll have too many strangers giving input and you’ll be vulnerable to plagiarizers. 

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Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Personal Statement (Part 4)

In this blog series, we’ll be highlighting some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.

Using long quotes: A short conversation you had in an intense circumstance can be illustrative in a Personal Statement. It helps a reader picture the event. But making the point of your essay completely revolve around a long quote of someone else's thoughts about medicine, leadership, integrity, or whatever, makes it their essay, not yours. No literary celebrity, professor, professional you worked with, or dad is supposed to be the star of this show. 

Dwelling on childhood stories: Saying you played lawyer / doctor / businessman as a kid should not feature prominently in your Personal Statement. In fact, we'd skip it: It's not a unique sentiment. Schools don't care how long you've dreamed of taking this step—they care if you have the potential and drive to make it happen.

This doesn't mean that a flashback scene is never relevant. If your mom had cancer when you were eight years old, you grew up fast, and you learned things about the healthcare system and doctor-patient interactions that influenced your professional goals. That is noteworthy. But you need this essay to focus on your recent impactful experiences. Ones that reinforced your interest in this career path and gave you the skills applicable to excelling in a program. 

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Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Personal Statement (Part 3)

In this blog series, we’ll be highlighting some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.

Staying linear: You don’t need the essay to be linear. Imagine your intro paragraph as the opening sequence of a movie—the most thrilling ones start mid-scene. You want to see an action star in action, not waking up to a buzzing alarm clock. Don't save the excitement for many scenes later. Show yourself there, then explain how you got there. 

Overusing passive voice: Keep most of your sentences active. Passive voice can minimize your contributions and slow down your essay's momentum. Active sentences move the statement forward. 

There is flexibility, of course. Some passive sentences aren't slow-going or unnatural. Take the passive "My research has been accepted for an oral presentation at the National Impressive Conference." vs. the active "The National Impressive Conference has accepted my research for an oral presentation." Honestly, both sentences are fine. Neither goes on too long nor is confusing. Both read as a natural way of speaking—the passive one might be a little more natural. 

There are also times when you'll use passive voice for effect, accuracy, clarity, or flow. Just be mindful of how often you're doing it. 

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Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Personal Statement (Part 2)

In this blog series, we’ll be highlighting some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.

Being uptight: A personal essay is more like journalism than an academic paper. You're telling a story, and this one is about you. You want to sound intelligent and respectful but being a bit colloquial makes you appear confident and relaxed. As if to say, "This is who I am. This is who I plan to become." Boom.

Also, a profound statement is often a simple one. We've heard more than one app reader complain about needing to consult a dictionary because an applicant had been over-consulting a thesaurus. Another reason to write less formally: You're going to interview at these schools. (Hopefully!) If you don't speak at all how you write, they're going to be confused about who you really are. 

Getting too poetic: Being a little poetic can show style, but if your point isn't clear, a beautiful turn of phrase is meaningless. One of our mottos is: "Clarity above all things." Leave no room for misinterpretation. The reader needs to see the story how you do. Crisp and untangled writing is also best given the character count limitation and how much you need to share. There is room for imagery but there isn't a lot of room for showiness. 

Spouting off clichés: Nothing says, "I don't think outside of the box" quite like the phrase "I think outside of the box." We also read a lot of first drafts that include "puzzle pieces"—skip 'em, they're going to be in a thousand other essays. 

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Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Personal Statement (Part 1)

Writing a Personal Statement is a massive undertaking. In a relatively short document, you’re trying to show the admissions committee who you are and what you value, while simultaneously building a case for why you will succeed in the program and, later, in your career. It’s a lot. But we can help. 

In this blog series, we’ll be highlighting some of the most common mistakes we see applicants make as they approach the Personal Statement. Try your best to avoid them.

Trying to include everything: You cannot fit every experience you've ever had into this essay—and hey, that's why you also submit a Resume or a Work and Activities section. Stick to one or two key experiences that prompted growth and reinforced your interest in the program. The Personal Statement is about showing depth

Telling instead of showing: The admissions committee is looking for more than a list of your strengths and traits. Not only is that boring, it is unreliable. A good rule of writing is: “Show, don't tell." Listing off your qualities is meaningless if you're not backing them up with real-life examples. Instead of telling the reader, “I am a good leader because I am diligent and organized,” provide a leadership anecdote that will show you empowering your team. 

Similarly, don’t tell the school what you will do in the future without showing them why you are capable of achieving such things. We've said it before: Sharing goals works when what comes before it exemplifies your strengths and abilities. More than what you want to do, what you have done tells us who you are.