Overcoming Loneliness

In our next Emotional Intelligence (EI) Friday blog series, we will examine loneliness by considering research on social isolation in the workplace. We will discuss who is affected, the psychological effects of prolonged loneliness, and how you can support yourself or others who may need your help. We hope you enjoy this three-part series.

Click here to read Part 1 of this series. 

Click here to read Part 2 of this series.

So, what should you do if you are experiencing loneliness? Being aware of the dangers of prolonged loneliness is a starter. Below, we have also compiled suggestions for keeping loneliness at bay, for yourself or within your workplace or network.

1. Take cues from your loneliness. If you feel lonely at work or in your personal life, act on the emotional prompt! Do not ignore the feeling or focus on work to the detriment of your own professional, social, and physical well-being. Consider how you can find more consistent person-to-person interaction. If you work remotely or travel frequently, think about facilitating work discussions over video conference or the phone rather than relying on email or instant messaging.

2. Form personal relationships. While you’re at work, speak to people and don’t allow yourself to rely solely on emails or other technology to communicate. Ask people about their lives outside work and tell them about yours. Leave your desk to have lunch and invite someone to walk and/or eat with you. Take the occasional coffee break with peers. Join office committees or participate in community service activities. In the Work Connectivity survey, almost three-fourths of Gen Z and just under 70 percent of Millennials say that they would be more inclined to stay with their company if they had more friends. As a manager working to staunch loneliness on your team, Barsade and Ozcelik warn against falling into inauthentic means of relationship-building such as holiday parties or company picnics. Relationships are built in small groups by people sharing about their lives. Large parties often result in people feeling more isolated as they witness the socially connected enjoying the event.

3. Find shared meaning. According to a Harvard Business Review study, finding shared meaning with colleagues—understanding the meaning that they derive from the work and connecting it with the meaning that you find in the work—creates meaningful “social cohesion” and insulates team members from feeling isolated. This also addresses Barsade and Ozcelik’s point about the meaning and identity that younger generations are looking for in their careers. Younger generations are seeking to be part of something bigger, not just to receive a paycheck. This may also provide a way to connect with others when there are not obvious shared interests or a foundation for a relationship.

4. Work for companies and managers who take their emotional culture seriously. Some companies have cultures that are more prone to driving isolation than others. Consider this as you look for jobs. Do the employees seem connected beyond meeting corporate goals? Do they seem to know and care for each other on a more personal level? “Mandy O’Neill (management professor, George Mason University) and I have done some work in emotional culture—the norms around what emotions you’re allowed to express at work and what you’re better off suppressing. We found that in emotional cultures of companionate love [that include] care, compassion, and tenderness, even lonely employees were more likely to be perceived as approachable and committed to the organization… Anything that a manager can do in terms of creating a culture that sends out cues that are supportive is helpful,” Barsade said. When interviewing, look for signs that your manager and co-workers will be interested in forming real relationships with you that extend beyond your work together.

The Loneliness Epidemic

In our next Emotional Intelligence (EI) Friday blog series, we will examine loneliness by considering research on social isolation in the workplace. We will discuss who is affected, the psychological effects of prolonged loneliness, and how you can support yourself or others who may need your help. We hope you enjoy this three-part series.

Click here to read Part 1 of this series. 

The reasons for the rise in workplace loneliness are many, and in some ways, apparent. Technology has allowed us greater efficiency in reaching out to coworkers and peers, without truly interacting with them. The Work Connectivity study found that, “almost half of an employee’s day is spent using technology to communicate versus in-person.” Additionally, working remotely and having constant access to emails has not only decreased our likelihood of forming meaningful relationships with our co-workers, but also can negatively impact our relationships outside of the workplace. Consequently, based on the nature of the work, different professions have greater rates of reported loneliness. Lawyers, doctors, engineers, and scientists are the most lonely while those with more social jobs such as sales and marketing report lower levels of loneliness.

Sigal Barsade and Hakan Ozcelik, management professors at California State University, Sacramento, point also to the importance that careers have in shaping Millennials’ identities and creating relationship opportunities, in an interview with knowledge@Wharton. “I think employees have an increasing level of expectations from their organization simply because our professions make up a huge component of our identity. We are not doing our jobs just for a paycheck; we want to be a part of the group. We want to be respected. We want to feel that we are having a good quality of life. I think this is getting more profound with the new generation. They might be more relationship-oriented than we are, so it’s important for companies to take that into account. They need to create that relational environment and provide opportunities for employees to build relationships,” Ozcelik said.

Moreover, Barsade and Ozcelik observe that loneliness begets loneliness, meaning that prolonged feelings of isolation harm an individual’s social behaviors and impact their networks. Theoretically, loneliness should serve as a signal. It can and should be a transient emotional state that motivates a person to seek out connections with others, particularly useful when a person is in a new environment. However, prolonged loneliness causes behavioral changes that deter interactions. 

“What the psychology literature has shown is that once loneliness is an established sentiment—you’ve decided you’re lonely—you actually become less approachable. You don’t listen as well. You become more self-focused. All sorts of things happen that make you less of a desirable interaction partner to other people. We found that was one of the things that explained the lower performance. The co-workers of lonely people found them less approachable. Because of that, they didn’t share things and didn’t get the resources they needed. By the way, the literature showed it’s not that they have lower social skills. Loneliness makes it happen,” Barsade said.

Barsade and Ozcelik also point out that existing research shows that loneliness can be “contagious,” afflicting networks and driving negative changes in employee behaviors and interactions throughout teams and organizations. 

Learning to Value the Personal Side of Your Professional Life

In our next Emotional Intelligence (EI) Friday blog series, we will examine loneliness by considering research on social isolation in the workplace. We will discuss who is affected, the psychological effects of prolonged loneliness, and how you can support yourself or others who may need your help. We hope you enjoy this three-part series.

Being single. Living alone. Moving to a new city. Working remotely. Frequent work travel. Sound familiar? While Millennials and Gen Z are generally thought to be the most socially connected of generations, the truth is more nuanced. Many characteristics of the young professional lifestyle are triggers for loneliness, or “the distressing experience that occurs when one’s social relationships are perceived to be less in quantity, and especially in quality, than desired.”

A 2018 study by Cigna and Ipsos found that while most American adults are lonely, Generation Z and Millennials report higher levels of loneliness than older generations. Similarly, data collected by The Economist and the Kaiser Family Foundation, found that in the U.S., the majority of those between 18 and 49 were classified as lonely (59 percent) compared to less than half of those over 50 (41 percent). And, the negative effects of loneliness have been well-documented. In 2015, UCLA researchers found that social isolation triggers a physiological response causing chronic inflammation, which increases the risk for heart disease, stroke, cancer, and Alzheimer’s disease. A 2015 meta-analysis out of Brigham Young University, which included 70 studies, found that lonely people have a 26 percent higher risk of dying, controlling for age and health status. Other studies have linked loneliness to eating disorders, drug abuse, sleep deprivation, depression, alcoholism, and anxiety.

But loneliness isn’t just a personal problem. Sigal Barsade, a Wharton management professor who researches workplace loneliness, says, “People tend to think that if you’re lonely, you’re lonely everywhere. But that’s not true. What research has shown is that you can be lonely in your private life, in your family life, in your romantic life—it depends on the place.” Certainly, you can be lonely in your professional life. And, just as loneliness is harmful to your health, it is also harmful to your career. 

Recent research on the effects of loneliness in the workplace show that loneliness brings detrimental consequences to an individual’s job performance, satisfaction, likelihood of promotion, and engagement and tenure with a company. And, not surprisingly, loneliness is pervasive amongst the youngest members of the workplace. The Work Connectivity study, published by Future Workplace in partnership with Virgin Pulse, surveyed 2,000 managers and employees and found that just over half feel lonely always or very often. At 47 percent, Millennials were the loneliest followed by Generation Z (45 percent). Generation X and Baby Boomers fared better at 36 percent and 29 percent, respectively. While loneliness can affect any demographic group, the survey found that men were more likely than women to report being lonely (57 percent versus 43 percent) and introverts were much more likely than extroverts (63 percent versus 37 percent).